Preheat the oven to 375 degrees . In a large skillet, melt 1 tablespoon butter over medium-high heat. Add the ham and cook, turning once, until browned, 2 minutes on each side. In a small bowl, mix the coffee, maple syrup and mustard and pour over the ham to coat. Cook until the sauce reduces slightly, about 5 minutes. Transfer the skillet to the oven and cook, turning the ham once, for 10 minutes.
In a medium saucepan, bring 1 cup water and the milk to a boil over medium-high heat. Reduce the heat, add the grits and simmer for 12 minutes. Stir in the remaining 2 tablespoons butter, the cheddar, hot pepper sauce and paprika.
While the cheese grits cook, in a skillet, heat the EVOO, 1 turn of the pan, over medium high heat until it ripples. Add the bacon and cook until crisp, 2 to 3 minutes. Add the onion and chard and cook, tossing constantly, for 3 minutes. Douse the greens with the vinegar and toss with the sugar, and salt and pepper to taste. Keep warm.
Cut the ham into 4 servings, discarding the bone. Serve with the cheese grits and chard.