In a food processor, mix the tofu, oil, garlic, 1 1/2 tsp. vinegar and the turmeric until smooth. Transfer to a small saucepan and cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until just heated through; season with salt and pepper. Cover to keep warm.
In a large skillet, bring 2 inches water to a simmer; add the remaining 1 tbsp. vinegar. Crack 1 egg into a small bowl and gently pour it into the water. Quickly repeat with the remaining eggs and cook until the whites are firm, 3 to 5 minutes. Using a slotted spoon, transfer the eggs to a paper towel to drain.
Meanwhile, in a medium skillet, cook the Canadian bacon over medium-low heat, turning once, until heated through, about 3 minutes.
Top each English muffin half with 1 slice Canadian bacon, 1/4 cup kale and 1 poached egg. Spoon a quarter of the sauce over each egg and sprinkle with cayenne.